Posted by : Wendy B Friday, 6 December 2013

We need to talk.

First of all, let me start this on a positive: I love your fight sequences and combos and I love your cinematics. Kai is wonderful and I am happy to listen to Anna Torv, though Andy Serkis could perhaps tone it down just a wee bit, and Flying Fox spent most of last night’s gaming session on mute.

But this throwing and aiming things business.

I managed to make it through the gawds awful trebuchet battle with three seconds to spare on my third try and appreciated the consequent therapeutic opportunity to massacre 700 troops with my ballista, but things did come very close to a controller throw table flip.

Perhaps you have not heard about my coordination issues. I can snipe like a bitch, but guiding an unwieldy missile to its desired target is not a challenge. It’s just a good way to piss me off. Especially when you add the requirements of moving all around like an idiot to get said missile to said target. Yeah okay I don’t actually have to move around, shut up. That’s beside the point.

I can’t believe you’ve actually made me appreciate Bruce and his damn batarangs.  I wasn’t great at those either, but I wasn’t horrible. My husband initially stressed watching me play Arkham City and eventually demanded the controller so he could batarang on my behalf, but with effort, I was able to get a lot of the more challenging ones on my own, without all the excessive movement.

Last night, when he saw me flinging shields at gongs, he disappeared pretty quick from the mancave. I can only assume it was because he just could not bare to watch the dreadfully uncoordinated exhibition.

I don’t know if having the special Move remote would make this better, but I shouldn’t be punished for not owning it.

I’ve heard damn good things about you, Heavenly Sword. That’s why I’m playing you. I have toughed through games with frustrating controls and even horrendous glitches just because I knew they were awesome and wanted to see things through. But if you’re going to make me spend too much time aiming things AND making me do it within a certain time limit, our friendship might not get far.

Sincerely,

nX.

WHAT IS THIS?

This is my mindspill. Mostly about comics, books, video games, movies of the science fiction and fantasy leanings. Sometimes recipes and parenting stuff will sneak in, along with a real world rant or two.

I also write about geek culture at Women Write About Comics, and I review genre fiction at The BiblioSanctum.

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