A Princess of Mars by Edgar Rice Burroughs
My rating: 1 of 5 stars
John Carter is awesome. I know this, because John Carter told me so. Everyone is impressed by John Carter. I know this, because John Carter said so. Dejah Thoris is beautiful. I know this, because John Carter said so. Dejah Thoris is incomparable. I know this, because John Carter told me so.
And for these reasons of awesome impressive incomparableness, these two fine specimens of Earthan and Martian perfection fell in love. The fact that they wear very little clothing may also have had something to do with their fated romance.
|Oh who am I kidding. I'd totally fall in|
love with that too. Art by Artgerm
My husband and I watched the movie a few weeks ago and it wasn’t bad at all. Clearly it suffered from Disney’s poor marketing decision, but otherwise, it was a passable film and thankfully it did not follow the story it originated from too closely. I don’t think it would have translated very well in our times. Instead, they opted to make the story a bit more interesting and slightly less about John Carter being awesome and Dejah Thoris served greater purpose than trophy princess.
"John Carter, that most incomparable of manly men, not leader nor fighter nor lover compared him for that moment of being smitten, t'was not her eyes nor her personality that won John 'I'm Awesome' Carter's heart, nay, but solely the sight of her lithesome nudity.
How could such a man find himself lost for words? John 'God I'm Amazing Carter approached the lovely lady, 'Boo?' He murmured, before continuing boldy, 'Bees?'"
~Gratuitously paraphrased by Simon Field