Reposting from Google+ for prosperity: In light of +Kevin Smith's unfortunate foray into the reality TV industry (tinyurl.com/6mk7fac), I’ve decided that my wonderful internet friends need to show him how it’s done. It would go a little something like this:
Picture, if you will, a large, but quaint and cozy, warmly lit store. There are aisles (corrected!) upon aisles of comic books, science fiction and fantasy novels, movies, video games, and more. On the walls are various posters of epic comic book events, fan art, priceless framed comics, and a signed image of LeVar Burton encouraging us all to keep on chasing that butterfly in the sky.
Towards the front of the store, +Paul Was is humming to himself as he munches absently from his bacon tree and goes over his customers’ pull lists. Behind him, encased in glass, is a large collection of Superman memorabilia, carefully polished to a Kryptonian shine. At the other end of the counter, +Wendy B taps away at her keyboard, writing snarky blogs, fanfics that she swears she doesn’t write and hate mail to George Lucas, while simultaneously creating yet another toon for SWTOR. Occasionally, she pauses to interject some nostalgia over her days working in the comic book convention industry.
“Did you want to try a bite of this new bacon flavoured [insert something bacony that Paul HASN’T discovered yet],” Paul offers.
“Bite? You know, John Romita Jr. bit me on the shoulder once.”
Over in the anime and manga corner, +Sunny D lounges on a comfy couch, various manga novels carefully strewn over the coffee table beside her as she types up her latest anime review. She shakes her head at the old folks up at the front counter and continues with her work.
As you approach the centre of the store, the gentle jazz music piping in through the ceiling speakers is abruptly drowned out by Garbage and the girlish squees of +Tiara Walker and +Laura whisman, who are sitting in gaming chairs in front of the elaborate multi-console, multi-screen gaming centre. They are both wearing their Mass Effect hoodies and their FemSheps are sparring with krogans.
Behind them, slumped in personalized LA-Z-BOYS, +Tim Holmes and +David Bleecher are having in depth discussions on various topics surrounding video games and movies. Their banter is amiable until David mentions a geek wedding he’s seen on the internet involving Black Canary marrying Wolverine. This pairing deeply offends Tim, but his anger is shushed when Tiara overhears them. Taking an extra moment to complete the VICTOLY dance she was in the middle of, she pops open her laptop and logs into Tumblr.
“Here, let me ‘ship that for you,” she says, and proceeds to find all the evidence to prove to Tim the error of his ways.
Soon enough, wonderful aromas begin wafting over from the little cafe in the corner where +Deacon F is concocting recipes to go with this week’s theme, What if all the super heroes were born in Canada. There is a sudden clatter and bang and Deacon stumbles out, his Brony tshirt splattered with Nutella and maple syrup.
“Dammit, Wendy,” he yells across the room, “Why didn’t you tell me maple syrup makes such a potent weapon!”
“I hung out with Todd McFarlane’s dad!” she yells back, “He’s Canadian! Like maple syrup!”
Welcome to ABSOLUTE GEEKERY, a place where comic book
men people gather.
Don’t miss the special lecture series, including +Dave Maez's “Teach your kids to properly decapitate zombies," Beccatoria’s “Five things I learned from the Opera House,” “Jesse and Derek’s John,” “Why you gotta hate on Aquaman?” and “I done vidded this!” "Boobs don't do that," with +Kimberly Chapman, "Flailing is perfectly acceptable," with +Taz Shanahan and +Sarah Parsons' "It's totally possible: The science of superheroes."
Also, contests run by +Marty Nozz and much much more, including special guest appearances by +Laura Creed, +Lauren Matthews,+Carrie Hess, +Ralph Uy, +Adrienne Kent, +Evan Peterson, +Pocket Raphael, +Michael Blizman, +Simon C-F, +Rugger Ducky, +Amanda Michelle Holmes, +Luis V., +Kahn Knight .... (because males AND females frequent our store...)