Posted by : Wendy B Saturday, 20 August 2011

In reviewing my old scrapbooks, I came across something I wrote about my "love" for cross-overs in 1999, which was around the height of multiple covers, foil embossing and special editions. It was a time that also featured ridiculous cross-overs. Not that cross-overs are ridiculous per se. Marvel was built with the intent for all of its residents to come in contact with one another. The crazy happens when the companies decide to "work together," creating ridiculous reasons for their respective characters to join forces in ways that usually defy canon. Sometimes it worked (Zealot's gift to Wolverine was kinda cute), but usually it was just, well, brain hurty. I'd like to believe the ultimate proof of the crazy is pictured at right, which is why, back in 1999, I wrote this on the Top Cow Fathom Forums. Considering the pending return of Voodoo and the rumours of Zealot as part of DC's reboot, all, apparently stemming from the DC/Wildstorm cross-over, Dreamwar, this still holds some relevance, I suppose.

The Ultimate Fathom Cross-over 2000
Having discovered that her mother is actually a creature brought back from Mars, crossbred with the Lochness Monster and a mutant shark, and her father is actually Bill Clinton (who's the one who really stole Austin Power's mojo), Aspen Matthews goes on a search for her long lost fraternal twin sister, Cassie Lane, who is being held captive by a group of rogue vampire Borg who have sided with the Aliens in an all out war against the Predators.
In order to get Cassie back safely from the underwater base she is imprisoned in, Aspen has to steal a special submarine designed by Wayne Enterprises. Understanding Aspen's pain, batman lets her go after the shocking revelation that he is actually the mysterious underwater guy, Carmeron, and Sara Pezzini's illegitimate brother. 
As fate would have it, Pez overhears everything, as she had been in Gotham City following a lead about the origins of the Witchblade, which, as it turns out, is actually the reincarnation of the Phoenix entity.
Unbeknownst the the trio, Mephisto, Tapestry, Dr. Doom and Mr. Sinister have been secretly planning their next hostile takeover of the world using the Summers/Grey DNA stored in Lex Luthor's STAR Labs in Metropolis, but their experiment goes awry when someone spills Aunt May's secret recipe for grits into the vat, serendipitously creating five clones of Jean Grey and seven of Peter Parker, while simultaneously restoring Matt Murdoch's sight.
Above the lab, Superman's marriage to Abby Chase is interrupted by the sudden appearance of Godzilla, who is being controlled by Red Monika, wielding yellow manipulate materia. Too bad the materia fails on her, releasing Godzilla, who proceeds to get himself lost in the city of Manhattan.
Meanwhile, during the lizard's rampage, Chase's maid of honour, Lara Croft, implements her plans to destroy her best friend's wedding, only to be confronted by her long time enemy and former lover, Solid Snake and his brother Liquid Sephiroth.
Thankfully, the WildCATS have finally gotten back together after having tea with Mussolini, Lynch and the Gen13 kids, they head over to Metropolis to kick some serious ass.
With guest appearances by The Fantastic Four, Kabuki, Shi, Jay and Silent Bob, Katchoo, a rather handsome pizza delivery guy in tight shorts and no shirt, the top half of Darth Maul and the entire cast of Cats, this promises to be the hottest cross-over of the 21st century, spanning the pages of 200 titles, 42 companies, and soon to be a feature length film starring the cast of Party of Five and Dawson's Creek, along with Britney Spears, Geri Halliwell, N*Sync, The Backstreet Boys and Leonardo DiCaprio and will be directed by Stephen Spielberg, James Cameron, George Lucas and Oliver Stone.
~Xade.
Who really hates cross-overs

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This is my mindspill. Mostly about comics, books, video games, movies of the science fiction and fantasy leanings. Sometimes recipes and parenting stuff will sneak in, along with a real world rant or two.

I also write about geek culture at Women Write About Comics, and I review genre fiction at The BiblioSanctum.

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