When you see something like Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (or the sequel, vs. Crocosaurus) on Netflix, how can you not watch it, especially when the actual preview involves a giant shark jumping into the air to bring down an airplane. Oh and it stars
Debbie Deborah Gibson (whose also in Mega Python vs. Gatoroid ... with TIFFANY OMG MUST WATCH) and Lorenzo Lamas. Movies like this are gold!
I had high hopes that it would be as B-movie awesome as
The Boneyard, starring Phylis Diller and a 6' zombie poodle. We should have obeyed our instincts and watched these films drunk or high.
With this disappointment, I decided to fall back on my list of old faithful guilty pleasure movies. The ones that you don't entirely want to admit to liking until you're sure the person you're talking to secretly likes them too...
Deep Blue Sea:
This movies wins if only for this Samuel L. Jackson moment. I won't spoil you with what happens directly after he says it, but I will say that it involved a large, intelligent mako shark with impeccable dramatic timing. "You think water moves fast? You should see ice. It moves like it has a mind. Like it knows it killed the world once and got a taste for murder. After the avalanche, it took us a week to climb out. Now, I don't know exactly when we turned on each other, but I know that seven of us survived the slide... and only five made it out. Now we took an oath, that I'm breaking now. We said we'd say it was the snow that killed the other two, but it wasn't. Nature is lethal but it doesn't hold a candle to man."
Speed Racer: I picked this gem up because it was in a $7.99 bin, a sure sign of awesome. I was not disappointed, and yes, I was humming the tune for a long time after, as well as referring to all ninjas as "nonjas." Besides, it's got a monkey in it. Everyone knows that movies with monkeys in them are always awesome.
While You Were Sleeping: This is my chick flick guilty pleasure. It was there in my fancy stack of VHS drawers with the likes of Aeon Flux, Star Wars (the originals with Hildebrant covers, not the digitally remastered crap that spelled the beginning of the end) and Red Sonja. Something about Bill Pullman and I don't care what you say, I like Sanda Bullock.
Demolition Man: I especially liked Sandra Bullock in Demolition Man. There is reasonable reason for this movie being on the list though. I saw it after reading A Brave New World in grade 10. It made me appreciate the book more. And also, seashells.
Alien vs Predator: I don't recall actually seeing all of this movie. Or rather, I probably just watched the scenes with That Guy from Resident Evil (another favourite) with the sexy voice who died another early crisscrossing death before he could truly be awesome. Fortunately, Sanaa Lathan made up for his loss. I like watching the end of this movie where she teams up with the Predator to kick some alien ass. I am sincerely hoping that there is no fanfic that takes this relationship any further than that.
Catwoman: Hahahaha just kidding. FU Halle Berry and your open-toed empowerment.