Posted by : Wendy B Saturday, 7 May 2011
Miss Spider sings that I should be good to bugs, but I am sure she wasn't talking about Lilioceris lilii, aka the (red) Lily Bug. (I am also very positively for sure certain that she wasn't talking about earwigs, either.)
I learned about these nasty little things two years ago when they decimated my beautiful lilies. Since then, the girls and I have been waging war against them. The little bastards couldn't wait a week for my lilies to spawn before they were invading them with their munching and fornication. So insulting the way the sit their mounting each other with their bright red backs, mocking me. Well mock my spade and the bottom of my gardening shoes, bitches.
I've already caught and crushed some of their eggs. Hopefully, I can keep at them long enough to prevent any of the babies from growing and pooping. Because, to add to their horridity, not only do they destroy the leaves of my plants by eating them, but the larvae actually poop and cover themselves with it, leaving nasty black lumps and trails over the remains.
Meanwhile, I am now certain that the spiders in the house are organized and that they smell fear. Particularly the fear of my 3yo daughter. There is no other explanation as to why they only show up in her room, during the middle of the night, and then move on to the living room by day, where she plays. And in the 10 minutes from her abandoning her trike to do something else, another started building its home on the handle bars, thus ending the day's bike riding lessons.
She explained this morning at 3am, through kissed away tears, that she was okay with them being in the living room, but not in her room because it was her room.
Come on spiders. She's willing to compromise. Let's negotiate here. I already have promised you all the mosquitoes that seem to be ever so fond of my ass.